My entire life I have loved performing. I loved singing in my church choir, in the bathtub, in my room, outside, inside, everywhere. I'd open my mouth and sing with reckless abandon. My mom likes to tell stories about when I was a kid in elementary shows I was always the loudest one. In some ways, I am still like this today.
I realized I wanted to be an actress when my sister started taking drama classes at Hoover Middle School and I went to see her perform. I thought she was so funny, and I loved watching her on stage. So when I got to middle school I couldn't wait to start taking drama classes. I took to it like a fish to water and with the help of my teacher and friend (who I still talk to today) Mr. Raison, I learned to act Shakespeare (no-really, Shakespeare, in 7th grade- no joke) and in 2003 he encouraged me to audition for my first community theatre production.
I went to my first auditions not knowing a thing about auditioning. I auditioned for MTS's production of Evita (for the children's chorus). I had never auditioned before so I went in there without sheet music. Luckily, the pianist knew my song ("In My Own Little Corner" from Cinderella) but he knew it in a different key then I had been practicing in and I remember that I started singing it in the lower octave and he made me start over. I felt so awful about that audition but I was shocked that I got a call-back. They gave me a piece of music to learn and told me to come back at a certain time on a certain day. That same day I had an audition for The Crucible at ALT directed by Paul Ford. It consisted of cold readings only (thank GOD because I certainly wouldn't have had a monologue ready) and I got a call back for that one too. The callbacks for both shows were at the same time on the same day. I had to choose between the two and because I was very intimated by sheet music (and had never had a voice lesson in my life) I chose to go back to ALT and eventually landed the role in the Crucible.
I dont think I could have asked for a better experience than I received in the Crucible. I learned so much about acting and working with different people. Adults. Professionals. Everyone was older than me, and certainly wiser. They had all already gone through middle school, high school... college. The next youngest actor in the show was a sophomore in college. They all took turns teaching me things- I learned the hard way in that show not to say "Macbeth" in the theatre, why you shouldn't play with the props, to look people in the eye when you're talking to them (on and off stage)... things that seem silly to me now, I needed to learn then. I remember during the callbacks for that show being so intimated by all the other actresses my age who had also gotten callbacks. They were all a little cuter than me. Definitely thinner than me and all seemed to know what they were doing. I thought for sure that Paul would cast anyone other than me. But he didn't- he cast me instead. And I remember so vividly, on opening night he pulled me aside and told me that he cast me because I was "special, different... grounded. There are enough Britney Spears' in the world".
Ever since then I have worked to maintain what makes me special, different, grounded. I try to stand out by being unique and not holding back and not trying to be anything other than me. I have worked very hard to get to where I am now. I have tried to think of other professions I could go into. I could teach, maybe. Stay in camping forever... one time I looked up how to become a travel agent. But I could never figure out which path to take. The truth is, that everything other than acting seems like a placeholder job. Like... something I guess I could tolerate doing until I could actually act. Because I can't (right now) imagine doing anything other than that.
And that's why I have to move to New York City. New York City is where I need to be in order to try to live my dream. And I'll live there a long time trying- but if I don't try, then I'll never know if I could have done it or not. If I don't try, I'll always wonder.
And I need to leave NOW because, I'm not getting any younger. And 23 is already kind of old when it comes to starting out as a young actress. And because if I don't leave NOW then I may never. I'll settle in, get too comfortable and wont ever go. I'm so fortunate to have Kenneth, who is willing to go to the ends of earth with me, he makes me feel courageous... and whenever I start to want to give up, he finds a way to remind me how important moving there is to us.
I have always dreamed of living in New York and one day singing on Broadway. I believe that I can do it if I work hard enough and push far enough. Thanks for reading my blog so far. I'll make sure to keep up with it!
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Here is one of the videos Gilbert and I made last week: Singers Who Play Chords- Born This Way
I plan to make more videos soon, of some of the songs from my repertoire book (musical theatre pieces, etc.) SWPC is just for fun! But I hope you enjoy and when I have some other videos I'll make sure to post them here too :)
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